House Take 2 (Krista)

Sorry no photos but here's a little more on our new place and life in Cusco...

Isabel loves having her own room with a huge built in closet. One-third of the closet is dresser: she spread her clothes into all 8 drawers, making sure that everything was folded neatly. (She only has two pair of pants that fit, but somehow she is making use of all the drawers.) One-third of the closet is a desk with shelves above—so she set up her books, homeschooling, and art stuff out of you-know-who’s reach. The final third is a place for hanging clothes, which she is kindly sharing with the rest of us because this is the only closet in the house. Isabel has been enjoying her privacy: reading in the mornings when she wakes up and at night before bed, watching the dvds she likes, listening to her ipod, and loving the view out her huge window.

Sophia has been actually pretty psyched about the new place too. She had a couple hard days when we packed and then did the majority of unpacking. Last weekend we bought her lovely a little table with a round wood top and black metal legs for her to do her “school work” and artwork. Sophia has all of a sudden started drawing actual people, and flowers, and butterflies! She still does “abstract” art as well but it is pretty cool to see those figures emerge with eyes and hands and smiles and, of course, hair. We have to buy a bed frame for her this weekend to get her mattress off the ground, but that will be pretty straight-forward. Her room doesn’t have a dresser or anything so I bought little three-tiered crates for her clothes at “Plasticos 2000.” The crates are a lovely pink and lavender—and the previous tenants left a number of under the bed plastic bins—these are now filled with her toys. Easy access.

Lawrence and I have been enjoying watching dvds on a couch in a living room, instead of on our hard wooden chairs in the laudry room as we did on our other apartment. We bought a relatively inexpensive couch at an open air market. The most recent dvd experience has been “True Blood” an HBO series about vampires—is it ironic that the dvd was left behind by the missionary tenants before us? Anyway, the couch isn’t comfortable enough that one can really cuddle up on it, but it is great to be able to enjoy a little down time once the kids are in bed without worrying about waking them.

The move was really pretty easy. It is amazing, though, how much one can accumulate in a relatively short time. We went from eight suitcases to…uh oh, beds and mattresses and pots and pans and food. Packing up is never easy, but we did have a lot of help with the actual physical moving. A couple weeks before our move, Lawr and David noticed a guy with a truck, helping other people move. We hired him and two helpers. They carried everything down from our third floor apartment to the truck; after a short 5 minute drive up a hill and around the corner, the guys then carried everything out of the truck, up about 50 stairs to our “street” (no cars can pass along this narrow walkway) and then about a block or so to our new apartment. All for 50 soles—total. That’s less than $30, and we paid the cargadores (the two guys who actually carry the stuff) double. Watching those guys run up and down the stairs, bent over lugging huge loads, was pretty humbling and pretty eye-opening: The class differences between us (the North Americans), the driver/owner of the truck (who hung out at the truck, not carrying anything), and the cargadores are stark.

We are hoping that we’ll be able to sell the refrigerator and stove, tables, beds, couch, etc. etc. etc. at the end of April. What we don’t sell, we’ll donate. Last night I came across a list that my dad sent maybe a year or two ago—it’s a “manage your life” list (see below). Among the 26 ideas listed is the reminder to distinguish between “necessities,” “conveniences,” and “other” (when buying things.) Our little family has a much greater ability for buying “conveniences” and “other” than most Peruvians. Case in point, part of the reason we haven’t moved up to the third floor yet is that I have been really wanting a more comfortable mattress.  We haven’t wanted to go through the hassle of moving the bed we already have up the stairs, if all we are going to do is move it down again. But I have been trying to do some research and haven’t had extra time to go mattress shopping…and well, now that I am thinking about this, it seems as though a new mattress is not really a necessity at all. I DID however go out and by a couple strands of Christmas lights and some ornaments this afternoon. The girls and I decorated the kitchen with lights, hung ornaments on the jade tree, and made paper snowflakes. I guess that counts and “other,” and it was well worth it!

The other piece of advice from the list that struck me this time is “put your kids to work”—give them some purpose in the family, some responsibilities and independence. We have never given the kids formal jobs or chores—both girls help out (usually) willingly when we ask, but sometimes we don’t ask before just doing it ourselves (and/or becoming frustrated). Thinking about it in terms of what we see every day here in Peru, it is more clear how keeping our kids as “kids” (less independent, less adult) is a privilege--but not necessarily something that is in their best interests. We don’t see many people on the street begging here, as Isabel and I did years ago in Bolivia, but we do see a lot if kids working. Kids who are 8 or 10 years old sell candy or postcards, shine shoes, watch their siblings, work as domestic servants. Some of the girls I’m beginning to know (at the homes I’m working in) are moms by the time they are 12 or 15. Many many of these kids have too much responsibility too soon, of course. But I suspect that people here also have a really different understanding of childhood. Not all of these kids are living in poverty, but there’s no getting around the necessity of their work to their families and to their own sense of themselves. Maybe we’ll manage to create a sense of family work/responsibility that is slightly more organized while we are here in Peru and carry it back with us to Maine.

Now it’s late and I’ve stayed up way too long writing this blog. I have no clear idea of how to end it, other than to say that our life here is pretty amazing even with glitches and annoyances (including those that are self-imposed). We have much to be thankful for, including spending more time with each other. And should anyone wish to visit and stay with us, we have plenty of space (and that new mattress might even get bumped up from “other” to “necessity,” or at least “convenience.”)

26 THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW TO MANAGE YOUR LIFE

1. SET A GOAL TO CUT YOUR EXPENSES by some concrete number—10%, 20%, 30%, even 50%, and set up a plan to do it. Reducing costs is the fastest way to increase your income–faster than making more money.

2. LOOK AT CASH YOU ARE WASTING without enjoying its benefits, such as lights that get left on, computers that stay on day and night, "phantom loads," like microwave clocks that use more energy than the microwave. If you get to know your electrical meter, and record the setting before and after you shut off those phantom loads,you'll have concrete proof that you are saving money.

3. Set up a THREE TIER SYSTEM for purchases: a) necessities; b) conveniences; and c) other. Put everything you buy in one of these categories for a week, and examine the list. For example, if you buy clothing, you might have bought socks and new fancy shoes. While most people would put the socks under "a" or "b," most of us would consider the fancy shoes "other" unless they are a necessity for work. The Great Spending Contraction has begun. Get far enough ahead of it, that you aren't bit in the behind.

4. Consider BUYING FOOD IN ITS MOST BASIC FORM, and in bulk. For example,

instead of buying Pancake mix, buy the flour, shortening, and leavening. This, alone, will not only improve your diet, but cost you a fraction of what the prepared mix would cost. Anything that the "Generals" prepare, (General Foods, General Mills, etc) they CHARGE YOU for the privilege.

5. SIMPLIFY. Examine each purchase, and ask yourself whether some other item would do the job equally well. Consumerism produces specialized products that increase demand. The more specialized, the easier it is to charge consumers a premium price for it. Shaving cream, instead of a good lathering soap. Window cleaner instead of vinegar. Do a bit of research and find out how your ancestors lived without most of the products under your sink or among your toiletries. Then, pare it down, and buy it in bulk.

6. SEEK OUT QUALITY. Seek out highly durable, long-lasting products that may cost more, but are well made and will last a long time. You may find out that the cheaper versions can't be replaced easily, when they wear out. Buy now for the long term, and not on price alone. I'm finding better quality items being replaced by cheaply made products at the same price. Buy the quality stuff while you can still find it, and make sure it fits Tier A. (See #3)

7. Switch over to a CASH ECONOMY. Just do it. Start out deciding how much money you usually spend using credit cards and checks, and take out that amount in cash for a week, two weeks, a month. If you and your family members spend through it before that period is over, stay home and stop spending, until the next period starts. Consumer research has shown that moving to a cash economy, consumers spend on average 20-25% less than if they used a credit card. Use that research to benefit YOU. Get into the habit of using currency, not plastic.

8. GET THE ENTIRE FAMILY INVOLVED in cutting back Tier "B" and "C" spending. If you've set a goal of reducing expenses by 20%, make that across the board, and involve the kids. If this means cutting back on extra lessons, dances, mall trips, etc, give your children a say in which things are cut out or reduced. If you are sincere about your own cutbacks, your children will respect and adjust their expectations as well. If you say you are cutting back, but then buy something in the "C" category, you've lost your credibility and you'll have a family mutiny on your hands. Discuss, as a family, all of your expenses based on these categories, and try to reach agreement, so there are no surprises.

9. Chart out your life travels in terms of MILES, instead of minutes, and then figure out how you can travel those miles in ways other than those using fossil fuel. When someone says "That's 30 minutes away…" get used to asking "Is that walking, biking, or traveling by car?" It is a psychological shift that we all need to make.

10. Learn how to STAY HOME. It sounds funny to some, but for many people, "home" has become a "pit stop" to refuel (eat, sleep) before we head out again. Learning how to stay home might mean resolving the conflicts you have with your significant other. It might mean having higher expectations for better behavior from your children.

11. SLOW DOWN, relax more, and look for ways of improving your home surroundings. I don't mean a new sofa. I'm talking about cleaning up that harrowing trip from one room to another because you keep tripping over the rug that sticks up, or putting up heavier curtains in the winter so the room stays warmer, or creating a better area to read, or listen to music, free of distractions. It might mean moving your most used kitchen utensils in a convenient place, so it's easier to cook. Tell yourself "Home is where I'm going to be spending most of my time," and check out your emotional reaction. If it's panic or dread, try to figure out why, and do something about it.

12. "GET REAL" with the people you live with or love. Unfinished business, unspoken animosity, curt and angry exchanges not only make it unpleasant to be at home, it actually impacts your health. Bad marriages wreck good health. Come clean and own up to your own unhappiness, and try to own up to your contribution to the situation. The average troubled couple waits seven years before they seek out help, and often the problems by that point are well-entrenched. Try to fix it yourself, but if it doesn't work, seek out a trained listener.

13. PUT YOUR KIDS TO WORK. Too many children have very little real "purpose" in family life, and this is a bizarre turn of events in the history of human-kind. If your kids seem focused on their own self-interests, ask yourself to what extent you've expected them to take in interest in things greater than their own amusements. If you can't really say "Boy, I'm really glad I have my son/daughter to take care of X, so I don't have to do it…" you've forgotten how to teach them skills like taking responsibility, being reliable, and the "quid pro quo" of living with people. Your future son- or daughter- in-law will curse you.

14. SHUT OFF THE CHATTER from the computer/Internet/television/cable/ telephone/cell phone/pager/Blackberry/fax machine for some period each day and make a space for you to be with those you love, uninterrupted. Make it a revered time when the most important people in the world are sitting with you, paying attention to each other, talking sincerely, relaxing together. Expect severe resistance and techno-withdrawal. Make this revered time long enough to allow for the "hyperactive" withdrawal to subside, and a sense of quietude to permeate the house. Keep it going (as an "experiment" if you must) for at least a month, and open up discussion about what kinds of things you could do, as a family or as individuals, that would be satisfying or fun without using electricity.

15. SERIOUSLY WEIGH WORKING OVERTIME against using this time to create a more sustainable lifestyle. We are used to thinking about making money as the number one priority, but maybe its time to seriously question this assumption. If some crisis should happen tomorrow, just how prepared are you? Have you put up food? Created a garden of some type? Gotten to know your neighbors well enough to ask for (or offer) favors? Connected with religious or civic organizations offering you a wider circle of support? Resolved your marital troubles? Learned to really enjoy your kids? No doubt, cash is important, but time is our most precious commodity. Consider its use very carefully.

16. Imagine a VISION for a future you'd be willing to live in. You know that line about how humans can't live without hope? (I know, some of you don't believe in that word, so let's use the word "vision.") The happiest families have a vision of what they are living and working for. This vision sustains them in times of trouble. Go ahead. Imagine the worst. Then, visualize how you can live a satisfying life through the worst of it, and what will make it worthwhile. (Hint: if you don't imagine good friends and family, live music, simple foods etc, it probably looks overly dreary…) Write about it in a story, with you as the hero, draw it in a picture, sing it in a song. Make it real.

17. MAKE LISTS and MARK ACHIEVEMENTS. Most of us are overly optimistic about what can be accomplished in a year, but underestimate what can be accomplished in ten years. See the broader plan, and pick several projects to start on (that's right, several…). Do something on each one every day, or make it okay to focus on one for a while, until you tire of it, and then shift to another one.

18. Keep the LONGER VISION in mind, and understand how the interim is likely to play out, based on that vision. Give yourself the space to make decisions now that you know will not ultimately be your future course of action. To make sure you are heading in the right direction, ask yourself: "Is this moving me toward greater self-sufficiency?" "If I am using fossil fuel to accomplish this goal now, is this in service of my learning some greater skill, that I can later apply, to accomplished the goal without those inputs?" For example, if you know nothing about carpentry, power tools can make learning about wood a great deal easier. Once you are comfortable with putting things together, you can later apply those skills when using hand tools. A recumbent bike with a "power assist" can get you out there and riding that bike, so you get into better shape to later ride it without the assistance.

19. Understand how the "herd mentality" is likely to impact you, and try to GET OUT AHEAD OF THE CROWD, instead of being trampled underneath it.

20. PROTECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH as closely as you do your physical health.  Depression, paranoia, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence,  abandonment, verbal abuse, compulsive behaviors like overeating, gambling, cyber-sex, anonymous sex etc. are all common reactions to stressful times. Keep a tight grip on the loose reins of that mind of yours, and listen to other people who tell you they are worried about you and the way you are behaving. Find people, ideally true friends and family, to talk to about the pressures and ruminations you have—your deepest fears. If you need help, get it now, and make sure that help includes tangible ways for you to handle that stress better in the future. Talk about your mother only if it helps you understand how to live a more productive life TODAY and gets you moving in the direction you claim to want to go in. Make it okay to schedule "mental health" days..you know, those days when you are just taking time off from work to smell the roses, sleep late, schedule a 'melt down,' or otherwise live life.

21. Learn the difference between "HEALTHY PLEASURES" and ones that will burn out your neurochemistry and destroy your health. Most of us  exaggerate our habitual way of being when under pressure, based on our personalities. For some of us, we'll withdraw from other people and become isolated. For others, we throw ourselves into projects that make other  people the focus, and ignore our own wellbeing. Some of us become instantly "action oriented" to manage our anxiety, without stopping to consider the purpose or goal of our actions. Others become immobilized, unable to make the simplest decisions, lest they turn out to be the wrong ones. Some become more self-centered, while others stop considering their own needs at all. Still others become dominated by destructive emotions and stop thinking clearly. Too much intellectualizing is the direction others take, and this allows very little room for emotional expression or sympathetic connection with ourselves or others.

This is what makes giving "general advice" like "express your emotions" or "focus inward" so risky. Know in which direction to tend to err, and interrupt the pattern before it goes to extreme. Include people in your life that "balance out" those tendencies. If you are a "worry wart," connect with someone who's more carefree. If you tend to intellectualize, find an improvisational theater group. If you dramatize everything, befriend someone closer to a "brain" who "thinks" as a first response. And be prepared to be possibly annoyed by the personality difference.

22. Care for something NON-HUMAN. Eighty-five percent of us already do, whether it's wild birds, squirrels, gold fish, a dog, cat or livestock. Caring for someone (or something) else is good for our mental and physical health. We're likely to live longer through a life-threatening disease if we do. Spend time watching or interacting with this non-human, and access another part of your consciousness—perhaps and older, deeper part, and try to relax while you're doing it.

23. LIMIT THE 'BAD NEWS.' If you find yourself checking the news more than once a day, give it a break, for your own sake. Take a "news holiday" once in a while. Go be around something beautiful, like art or nature.

24. Make a list of the 'TWENTY THINGS YOU LOVE TO DO', and post it where you'll see it every day. Write down, next to the item, when is the last time you did it, and whether you want to do it more (M) or less (L) often. Write down if it was something either parent did (P), and whether you'll still be able to do it at 85 (85). If it costs money to do it, put a dollar sign ($) next to it. If you need to do it with a friend (F) or special friend (SP) note that. Now, rank-order them, just for fun. EXAMPLE:

Item Last time? More/Less? Parents? 85? Cost? Friend/SP? Rank?

SING…TODAY.. M…………Mom.….85…0…… NA………....1.

25. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE WORLD. Try just impacting your tiny corner of it. Make your street a nicer place. Plant a few fruit or nut trees. Join a neighborhood group. Expand your community food pantry. Get a regular "rent party" together and pass the hat for those who have lost their job or have unpaid medical bills. Next week, that person might be you. Pick up the garbage you come across, even if it isn't yours. Remember that the world is bigger than you are, and that you don't own the Earth or the things in it, you are a part of the Earth, and are owned by it.

26. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. Just because people usually list 25 things, be different. List 26. Don't follow the crowd, walk ahead of it. If they start following you, you're a leader. If they don't, you are ahead of your time or you are going in the wrong direction. In either case, enjoy the walk, and break your own rules once in a while.